As a small child, you absorbed a great deal from experiences you had with families, caregiver(s), peers, mentors, etc. Although you may not have had the words to describe your feelings about the experiences, they did become ‘recorded’ in your subconscious mind and your body.
Prolonged negative experiences wound your inner child, and these wounds become hidden in the shadows of your consciousness. The Shadow Self is your neglected inner child. Wounds seek an outlet to express themselves, so your wounds can show up in multiple ways depending on how your younger self interpreted the source of the pain. The source of the pain can be broken down into three categories: rejection, control, and deprivation. Your wounds are not limited to any one category, though usually, one area tends to be more dominant. Below is an easy way to determine how your inner child expresses his or her wounds below.
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You may very well recognize yourself as a perfectionist and/or a people-pleaser. The child wound is expressed through the adult by...
often feeling less than others
only feeling worthy of love if you’re perfect!
seeking the approval of others
being a chameleon
not know really who she is
withholding their thoughts and feelings from others
THE MEDICINE CONSISTS OF SELF-ACCEPTANCE
You may recognize yourself as a martyr and/or someone who's known for being the worrier, or having anxiety. The child wound is expressed through the adult by...
not getting their needs met
not accepting compliments
making others their purpose
feelings of guilt when they try to meet their needs
inability to enjoy the moment
fear of what-if's
high expectations of other
THE MEDICINE CONSISTS OF SELF-FORGIVENESS
You may very well recognize yourself as a rebel and/or someone who goes along with everything. The child wound is expressed through the adult by...
resentment and passive-aggressive behavior
feeling pressure and demands from others
engaging in power struggle relationships
feeling powerless or helpless
attracted to controlling people
THE MEDICINE CONSISTS OF COMPASSION
You can heal. You can learn how to meet, listen and embrace your wounded child who still lives deep inside you. And what better person is there than you to do this, yes you, because the only person who can guarantee never to leave is you! By embracing and re-parenting your Inner Child you shall find those "missing pieces of the puzzle” that enable you to go on and live an authentic and rewarding life. A life filled with genuine joy, laughter, love, and compassion.
And if you still are looking forward to having children of your own, then know that you will be creating for your children a better future. Just imagine that you will change the course of your unborn child's life. Too often family history repeats itself, passing down limiting beliefs generation after generation. It doesn't have to be that way. The cycle can be broken.
YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE AND CHOOSE TO DO IT DIFFERENTLY.
Through connecting to what's true for you and aligning with what you value, you can begin to say: “This is my life, and this is how I’m going to live!”
Children learn from observing and copying behaviour, let them learn from behaviours that come from a healed inner landscape and be the catalyst for changing the course of history for your children and your grandchildren. It's time we all took responsibility to raise a healthier generation who know how to have a loving and compassionate relationship with themselves.
The fear of rejection and loss has always been my deepest fear. To be seen in a critical way and not accepted for I am. I feared being alone. The feeling of being rejected in any shape or form was confirmation enough to me that on some level I was unlovable. A big part of this fear was experiencing pain and hurt. To help avoid any possible unpleasant feelings I adopted coping strategies that actually seemed to help me .... up until they didn't. In fact, they started to not serve me well at all. Shadow work/inner child healing helped me heal myself.
Inner Dynamic Coaching
Inner dynamics is a specialized coaching modality and it’s become my coaching specialty. I love how immensely powerful and liberating the results are and how quickly people obtain breakthroughs that can literally be life-altering. I know this first hand because it has changed the relationship I have with myself.
Seeing, hearing, and feeling the untold story of my child self, helped me to really understand who I am and why I do what I do on a much deeper level than traditional coaching. I’ve been able to heal wounds around the fear of rejection and loss. Heavy layers of sadness, pain, shame, and chronic self-doubt have lifted and each day I connect closer to my true self. I know me. I know myself on a whole new level. I've gained insights and understandings that before shadow and inner child work had not been possible.
Working with the different parts of me, I came to truly see and understand that there were "parts" still caught up in their negative story about what had happened to me, these parts still felt invisible, misunderstood, not accepted, even a failure to some degree. They were still living in the past but influencing my future and affecting my present.
"Re-empowered to love myself "Kasia, Luxemburg